Ode to a Dead Mouse
Dedicated to the fair Eufemia, who said it couldn't be done
Squashed, repugnant, verminous mouse
that did unauthorized ransack my house
your territorial rights were nil
you trespassed and now foot the bill
for damages accrued while tasting
my best Gruyere acquired on Hasting's
at great expense: you are a dunce
the Cheddar i’d have happily stood for
and shown you, compensation-wise, the door
it is by choice, not chance
you are the victim of a circumstan-
tial boot, that crushed you flat
while full of loot – i cried, “Take that!”
Valedictory
You squirm no more, in state you lie
with spatula i had to pry
and drape you with the newsprint shroud
don’t worry, mouse, i’ll do you proud
this moral text i shall recite
in homage due for your last rite:
a gourmand i respect as such
but Gruyere cheese costs far too much!
‘98
